If He Had Been with Me by Laura Nowlin on April 2, 2013
Genres: Young Adult Fiction / Coming of Age, Young Adult Fiction / Mysteries & Detective Stories, Young Adult Fiction / Romance / Contemporary, Young Adult Fiction / Social Themes / Dating & Sex, Young Adult Fiction / Social Themes / Friendship
Pages: 400
Format: eBook, Paperback
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“Stay I whisper to him. Stay in the car. Stay in this moment. But of course he never does.”
Autumn and Phineas (Finny) are neighbors who were born a week apart. Their mothers are best friends, and they eat dinners and spend holidays together like a family. Autumn and Finny were inseparable through childhood. But a spontaneous kiss between them in eighth grade changes their relationship. As the story follows Autumn and Finny through their high school years, they rarely interact outside of their “family” gatherings. They each find different friend groups and have long-term dating relationships. Despite that, their childhood bond remains, and their attraction grows. As Autumn deals with the ins and outs of high school, family difficulties, and depression, Finny is always on her mind. He’s also always there to support her in hard times. At the end of senior year, Autumn’s boyfriend breaks up with her, and Finny’s girlfriend travels to Europe. The old friends start to spend lots of time together. Will they tell each other how they really feel? Will it be too late?
This is a was a hard book for me to review, so I am going to break it down between the first 300 pages and the last 300 pages…
First 300 Pages: Ugh… this book feels like it was written by a toddler. I’m really confused as to how this book has such a high rating. It was mundane and repetitious, the main character was annoying, and the writing wasn’t very good. I simply found Autumn’s voice to be unbearable and that she is an insufferable snob. Autumn is plainly stupid. She latches on to her boyfriend or is it she leeches on to her boyfriend, a boy for whom she feels something far less than she ought to and she realizes her feelings for him aren’t what they should be, but she just clutches him tighter because she must have someone, I guess. This whole story is told in first person present which is odd since the whole book is actually past tense. And that would even be okay if then the memory jumps during the story were at least told in first person past tense. It is all a bit much to sift through. When did this happen? Where are we now in the story? Ninth grade? Kindergarten? 2 Stars at best.
Last 100 pages: I really don’t even wanna talk about it right now, I can’t even see my screen through the tears in my eyes. I’M SO SICK. the ending was too much all at once WHO ALLOWED THAT?? This is one of the most real and painfully beautiful teen contemporaries I have read. I love to read heartbreaking stories because they make me feel alive. Make me see life in another light. I was numb by the end and Autumn was too because I think the author wanted it to give off that blank feeling. It was detached and that was just a really great way to end this book. 4.5 star rating.
In the end, I decided to meet in the middle and give this book a 3.5 star rating. Was a feeling like I wasted my time reading it? Just a little, but I have read worse. I am not sure if I would recommend this to people but I also would not discourage someone to read it either if it was on their list. Though, for a young adult, I could see it being a great read for those readers. Just not my cup of tea.